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Friend or Foe?

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Nicknamed The VeggieFan2000's Earth Day Special, this is specifically similar to Deja Grape.
Friend or Foe

"Friend or Foe?"

TranscriptEdit

  • (Alley scene)
  • (Title shows up)
  • Simon: I'm telling ya, it's for your own good.
  • Theodore: Yeah, but, we don't need to go this far.
  • Simon: All these devices are more trouble than they're worth. They belong in the garbage.
  • Alvin: You're a do-it-yourself guy now. You don't need it.
  • Theodore: But I made them myself. Don't throw it away.
  • Simon: Consider this for innoventions.
  • Theodore: Don't be scared. Dad's here.
  • Simon: C'mon, it's all junk.
  • Theodore: (Opens box and pulls out a dead whale and a eaten kite) But this is not junk! No, wait. This is junk.
  • Alvin: Wow. (Pulls out a headache headgear thing) What does this do?
  • Theodore: It's for headaches. Opening an aspirin bottle can be very sensitive. (Rubber chicken hits the target) Do that for ten minutes and your head is numb. No more headaches.
  • Alvin: I think it's working.
  • Simon: You're both nuts.
  • Theodore: What does this do.
  • Simon: Isn't that a ball in duct tape?
  • Theodore: It's a deravitive. You switch that and you have an amanda of boats. I did that on my cellphone once. (Picks up phone) Eleanor?
  • Eleanor: (mumbling on cellphone)
  • Theodore: Send me another box of junk from your boss.
  • Eleanor: (more mumbling)
  • Theodore: Love you too, snookums.
  • (ZAP!)
  • Pizza Delivery Guy: The house number wasn't fixed. So I ate your pizza. You don't need to tip me or anything.
  • Alvin: That could come in handy. (Throws away pizza box)
  • Theodore: Let me show you how it works.
  • Alvin: I should order another pizza while the rubber chicken hits the target.
  • (Rowboat appears)
  • Simon: It's effective if you goal was to kill me.
  • Theodore: I still gotta work out the kinks.
  • Simon: Gimme that thing.
  • Theodore: Be careful. It's sensitive.
  • (ZAP!)
  • Simon: JERK!
  • Backup Simon: It's effective if you goal was to kill me. Am I a friend or am I a foe?
  • Alvin: Friend... or foe?
  • Theodore: Foe. That is real continnum. That device is real versatile.
  • Backup Simon: Gimme that thing.
  • Alvin: Freaky.
  • Simon: No one should be messing with this... but me.
  • Alvin: Let me try. (Alley transitions into jungle background) I want to see what the back of my own head looks like.
  • (KABLOOEY!)
  • Theodore: That was unexpected.
  • (Alvin chirrups)
  • (A zucchini wearing a safari hat and a scallion wearing a photographer's vest approach Alvin)
  • Safari Zucchini: There's a monkey on the loose. (Simon throws away box of junk)
  • Safari Scallion: I'll take some pictures of him. (Snap, snap, snap)
  • Theodore: Wait a minute. That's no monkey. That's Buccaneer Alvin! (Beats zucchini and scallion with rubber chicken) Die, safari men.
  • Simon: Grab that gizmo. We need to change him back.
  • Theodore: Don'tcha want to teach him tricks and feed him bananas, first?
  • Simon: Push the button.
  • (As they mutate, backgrounds switch from background to background)
  • (Egypt background, the new and improved Pirates scream)
  • Alvin: Switch us back, I'm a freak.
  • (Hawaiian island background)
  • Simon: No, now you're a freak.
  • (Mountain top background)
  • (They scream)
  • (Jungle background)
  • (They scream)
  • (Sneeze doctor background)
  • (They scream)
  • (Jungle background)
  • (They scream)
  • (Fancy restaurant background, then back to jungle, mountain top, Hawaiian island and alley)
  • Alvin: That's better.
  • Simon: That was exhilirating!
  • Alvin: Let's find more junk.
  • Theodore: I should go for something stickier like bubblegum in a big box of chocolates.

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