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It's a Not-So Meaningful Light Part Four

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Here is the last part of this fish tale ever.

TranscriptEdit

  • (Bags were pulled off their faces. Angel Cake is flipped upside down, Ginger and Orange were both tied to the back of a sheep, and Strawberry had the ropes cut)
  • (The league gasps, except Strawberry)
  • Angel Cake: I didn't know to say this, but this is crazy.
  • Simon: I'll say.
  • City Official: Their punishment... THE ASTONISHING CONTRAPTION OF PANTS-BURNING!!!!
  • (People laugh)
  • Simon Narrating: I do not like the sound of this. They demonstrated the contraption. Which you see is a giant lightbulb shooting a laser and turns you into paste. The league, except Strawberry cried.
  • City Official: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... KING TWISTOMER!!!!!!!!
  • (Crickets chirp)
  • Alvin: Where is he?
  • Theodore: He's on vacation!
  • Simon: But look. Sorry for the inconveniece but King Twistomer can't make it tonight. Your substitute for him will be Queenie-Pooh.
  • Simon Narrating: Panic rose fast. (A silhoutte of a gang appeared from the seas)
  • People in Palace: It's Mayor Jimmy and The Marigolds!
  • Alvin: I don't like the sound of that.
  • Simon: I don't really seem to fit in since our arrival here last night.
  • Strawberry: (chuckles) The people of Ninaborough are scared into extreme silliness.
  • Simon Narrating: The League saw the people do everything the Marigolds told them to do. They frantically built boats out of race cars, skateboarded down the supermarket aisles, stacking pyramids of sheep, singing the blues, threw their shoes out the window, built statues of them, worked on cliffsides, danced like mad fools, wrote books about racoons, threw eggs at old people's houses, set their homework on fire, gave their foods to their pet cats, told their pet dogs that they're bad, put lemons on old people's eyeballs, swept all the dirt off of every staircase, cut the tops of flowers and threw them in the trash, took the cheese off of everything and threw it away, stood near the "See the World Friends and Family cruise" ticket booth wearing oversized hats and holding bright lights, they tore pictures of flowers, sheep, cattle and chickens out, people throwing away baseball outfits, and flushing staplers and other office supplies down the toilet. Anyone who disobeyed was paid a visit by Mayor Jimmy and the Marigolds and thrown into the belly of a whale.
  • Alvin: This must be stopped.
  • Townsperson: You never told me you were a pirate.
  • Alvin: Well, I'm not robbing from anyone.
  • Townsperson: You shoulda been in bed by now!
  • Alvin: I'm gonna send your butt back onboard the pirate ship and maybe you can go to bed!
  • Townsperson: Boo! You stink!
  • Alvin: I... How dare you!?!
  • Townsperson: You can't do this to me! I'm going to kill you!
  • Alvin: Sorry. Too late. Goodnight.
  • Simon: (Points his sword to the city official) That's it. You're walkin' the plank!
  • Theodore: He's forcing that city official to walk the plank.
  • Simon: Judah, you better hire someone else to be a city official.
  • Theodore, Alvin, Reuben, Karen and Jude: Attack!
  • Simon Narrating: The others pounced on me, so I attacked the city official. He, Theodore, Karen, Reuben, Jude, Alvin and a few people piled on and on like we were sumo wrestling him in a dohyo.
  • (Cut to Strawberry looking nervous. She hops away from the contraption.)
  • Karen: Get another guy to run this palace.
  • Simon Narrating: Karen yelled. Jude insisted...
  • Jude: Mr. Official, you're fired.
  • Reuben: You know nothing!
  • Simon Narrating: Reuben screeched. Then Larry, Mr. Lunt, Jonah and Kyle sat on a cliff. This was the same cliff Jonah sat on when he was waiting for God to destroy Nineveh.
  • Kyle: I shoulda listened to Jimmy.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: I know it was true!
  • Jonah: Charge in the palace! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK BAD!
  • (A soldier takes Jonah to battle)
  • Soldier: Come on, Mac-Jonah.
  • Jonah: YOU'RE USELESS, PATHETIC, AND ANNOYING!!!!!!!!
  • Buccaneer Larry: I knew that'd get her.
  • Simon Narrating: They heard the cries of me, the outraged cowboys, and the mischevious popstars.
  • Karen: I'll see how much wondering there is when everything is thrown away from you.
  • Simon: Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
  • City Official: Why is there a grape with a black cowboy hat and a few of his brothers and his girlfriend in here wanting to pee in my bed?!?
  • Alvin: Ya never said it was true!!!!!!!!
  • Karen: I'm gonna kill you, mister.
  • Simon: I can never tell when you're looking!
  • Theodore: You should talk!
  • Strawberry: I gotta go. (in her thoughts) I must show the great Uncle Ian the error of his ways. But how?
  • (She leaves the palace. The gates were locked.)
  • People: But, but...
  • Simon: (Points his sword to them) NO BUTS ABOUT IT! Go rent a Viking ship, or you're dead!!!!!!!!!
  • (Silhouettes of Larry, Mr. Lunt, and a few people show up) 
  • Simon Narrating: Larry, Mr. Lunt, Kyle, Molly, Geo, Milli, and Gil banged on the gates with crowbars. Molly, Gil, Geo and Milli set up tents. Kyle was munching on a leg of ham while sipping a 72 oz. Slurpee. It was still two-thirty in the morning when they hopped on dog sleds. Despite Strawberry leaving, she never knew why we were so caught up in forcing the city official to leave. Luckily, for Larry, he hired some professionals. While Mr. Lunt fired the city official, Geo sat inside his tent, ready to get a nap. He almost got a glass of water until Judah went into his tent. Reuben, Karen, Simeon and Zeb followed.
  • Jude: You never told me you had to give the city official a taste of your super shape power to make him fired.
  • Geo: It was a bit stale so...
  • Reuben: I DON'T CARE!
  • Karen: He ate his own dust, anyway.
  • Theodore: I was hoping that could turn up.
  • Turnip: What did you just call me? A turnip!?!?
  • Reuben: I can't move my arm!
  • Alvin: I coulda called Captain Pa and see if he'll turn up.
  • Turnip: Grrrrrrr.... stop calling me a "turn up!"
  • Alvin: Yipes!
  • (Phone rings)
  • Kyle: I'll get it. Oh, hey, Mr. Jonah. It's not too late to talk business. I'm saying that you were asked to go to this city of Nineveh and tell the people here to stop slapping people with fishes but you got on a pirate ship and swallowed by a whale, and you were spit out and when you got the message, God wanted to destroy Nineveh, but he didn't! Oh, that's a hoot.
  • (Jonah lies on ground with R.I.P. sign)
  • Kyle: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! What!? Are you crazy?! You're one of God's prophets! And now you're....dead!?!?!?
  • Angels: Forever alone...
  • Kyle: I'll see ya on the flip side. I gotta stop Uncle Ian. Who will be me?
  • Gil: You can count on me.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: I'm in.
  • Buccaneer Larry: Someone's gotta take Jonah's coffin to the Day of the Dead ceremony.
  • Kyle: I can give it a shot.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: Use your cellphone for help, Gilly. Mrs. Bruckheimer, the Navy, even Dave Seville! Buccaneer Larry, come with me.
  • Molly: Oh, Jonah, we all came to see we're sure you were dead.
  • Simon Narrating: Now Strawberry sat on the same cliff Jonah sat on to watch God destroy Nineveh. God showed compassion and mercy on her and again, grew a huge vine above her, yet this time, it didn't wither. She prayed to God.
  • Captain Pa: Maybe I was a little hard on my daughter, Strawberry. I think I'll tell her that I...
  • Strawberry: Answer me. C'mon, light the palace up with fire. Please, just a spark.
  • Captain Pa: (Groans) I give up...
  • Queen: Proceed.
  • City Official: These are the prepetrators of the heinous act against those popstars.
  • Alvin: Do you have those guilty parties a chance to let someone speak in their own defense?
  • Queen: You may speak.
  • Alvin: I, Simon and Theodore are celebrities here.
  • Queen: (frowns) Slap them!
  • Alvin: You don't understand. Strawberry is a kind Rhubarbarian. You shoulda told her about her kindness.
  • City Official: What...did you...say?
  • Alvin: You shoulda told her about her kindness.
  • (Simon and Theodore rip off their clothes and sing about greed while Alvin plays an accordion)
  • Person in Crowd: You're singing about greed?! Get out of the palace!
  • Alvin: (facepalms) My turn...
  • Simon: Fine!
  • Theodore: You do better, then.
  • (They walk away. Ginger has a wicked smile on her face.)
  • Person in Crowd: What? (Notices arm pump on Ginger's waist) That's not your heart pumping, those are cheeks playing.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: We've pulled out all those stops and used every single trick.
  • Buccaneer Larry: Well, the warden, the mayor, the asylum owner, and a few people, including Mrs. Bruckheimer tried attempts to coax my girlfriend out of jail. But after each attempt, nothing happened.
  • Captain Pa: Not by the fact this palace is as clean as a Christmas turkey.
  • Buccaneer Larry: You're right, Captain. What is a Christmas turkey, anyway?
  • Buccaneer Lunt: (whispering to an old lady) Google Image one.
  • Buccaneer Larry: I dunno, I was hoping that those people that tried breaking Strawberry out of prison would turn up.
  • Turnip: I WILL kill you!
  • Simon Narrating: Then, Larry and Mr. Lunt cried.
  • Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: This is terrible! First, Strawberry pranked us into oblivion, then she tried to repay the incident to us, and now our lives of being lazy have gone up in smoke! We told ya she wasn't done wrecking our boat in a huge rainstorm!
  • Simon Narrating: Ginger Snap then called the cops.
  • (Police arrive)
  • Police Chief: Freeze!
  • (Alvin grabs a rubber mallet and pounds it to the balcony. The balcony falls.)
  • People: Let's start a riot. (Holds torches and pitchforks)
  • Simon Narrating: Suddenly more police came. Television crews arrived as well. Several people pulled up couches to watch.
  • Alvin: You have the right to remain silent.
  • (Simon, Captain Pa, and Theodore hold them)
  • (They climb up the cliffside)
  • (Loud bellowing)
  • Strawberry: Whew... I think we lost them.
  • Simon Narrating: When the havoc broke out, a few people didn't want to leave. So they made some good choices.
  • Sweater Gherkin: I'm getting out because I can't swim!
  • Molly: I do not think so.
  • Gil: (sings) You guys go ahead, we'll ketchup!
  • Milli: I believe I need to hire some people to clean up this.
  • Geo: We hafta stop 'em.
  • Sweater Gherkin: 'Cuz those guys are bullies.
  • Geo: Give them a taste of my super shape power!
  • Milli: And a taste of my super pattern power!
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Simon Narrating: Suddenly Molly had a flashback.
  • Minnesota: We hafta stop him!
  • Julia: Why?
  • Minnesota: 'Cuz he's a bully, Jules. I gotta get even with him. Why, if it's the last thing I do, I'll track him down and repay him for everytime he's been mean to me.
  • Julia: You've changed, Cuke. You don't care about the hairbrush anymore. Now that you want to get even... I don't like that in you, Cuke. You're-you're nothing but a bully.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Simon Narrating: Gil had a flashback.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Ladies: It's Sheerluck Holmes! Would you like to sign our autograph books?
  • Sheerluck: I'm never too busy to help out a fan. (Signs his name) Goodnight. Anyways, what were you saying?
  • Dr. Watson: Did you sign both of our names?
  • Sheerluck: Ahh, they only asked for mine.
  • Dr. Watson: You just don't get it. When you want to treat me like a friend, come talk to me.
  • Sheerluck: What don't I get? But, we're a team! Where you going? Come back, Dr. Watson!
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Simon Narrating: Suddenly Milli had a flashback.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Huckleberry: They all know about Jim! The posters are everywhere. Even the babies have signal flares.
  • Tom: The babies?
  • Huckleberry: Ya, Tom. The babies.
  • Tom: I...no. Huck, I said I'd go to Muscatine. That's it, I did my part. We gotta get home.
  • Huckleberry: I want to help Little Jimmy find his mama.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Geo: See what I mean? She's gotta do what is right.
  • Simon Narrating: Suddenly Geo had a flashback.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Mordecai: Haman hates us, hates our whole family.
  • Esther: What are you gonna do?
  • Mordecai: I can't do anything! I'm just a guard. But you - you're the queen.
  • Esther: No, no I'm not gonna, I... I didn't even want to be the queen.
  • Mordecai: You wanted to know why you were here or why you became queen. I told you God must have a reason. Esther, perhaps he put you here for such a time as this. Perhaps this is the reason. Esther, you never have to be afraid to do what's right. I'll pray for you. We'll all pray for you.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Milli: Follow me!
  • (Silhouettes of the Chipette Robots appear)
  • Brittney: (Robot-monotone) We came to destroy the palace.
  • Jeanette: (Robot-monotone) Let's show them. (Destroys palace)
  • Eleanor: (Robot-monotone) Oh, the artificial inhumanity.
  • (The boat sails back)
  • Man on Voice: Mr. Norrius, you're running outta studio time.
  • Chog: I guess I'm just gonna record The Pirates tomorrow. I'm going back to Bathroom Town with Captain Pa tomorrow.
  • (Violin music plays)
  • Baker: I paid to see a guy and a girl getting made.
  • Sheriff: Ya, what a refund!
  • (Violin music transitions to dramatic music)
  • (They throw the Marigolds into the ocean)
  • Chog: All the way from Bethlingham, Cabbageville and Boo-Boo Ville, home of the Bad-baloney's pencils... ALVIN, SIMON AND THEODORE!
  • Ginger Snap: Simon's native town is... Bethlingham!?
  • Angel Cake: Theodore's native town is... Cabbageville?!
  • Orange Blossom: And Alvin's native town is... Boo-Boo Ville?!?!?
  • (Ginger Snap pulls out a disc which read "Obscure Broadway Showtunes with Larry - The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything".)
  • Chog: Ready, fellas?
  • Alvin, Simon and Theodore: OK, Mr. Norrius.
  • ("The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" song plays. As the song picks up, the boat leaves.)
  • (Strawberry shifts on a stadium bench)
  • (The people sing with Alvin, Simon and Theodore)
  • (The TV reporter is elated at what the boys were singing)
  • TV Reporter: Oh, yes. We got some new pirates!
  • Martin: It's more scarce than that film about a trio of pirate-singing chipmunks I watched in Spork class.
  • (Mayor Jimmy and his assistant come out behind them to place some pirate jewels on them)
  • TV Reporter: What's your names, boys?
  • (Alvin, Simon and Theodore whisper replies which we don't hear)
  • TV Reporter: (to camera) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, may I introduce you to... The New and Improved Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
  • (Pirate jewelry is settled on their necks)
  • (The people cheer)
  • (Strawberry cries)
  • Buccaneer Larry: Strawberry, Albert, I just heard the news.
  • Alvin: You're a true member of the League.
  • Buccaneer Larry: And you, you're a New and Improved... Pirate Who Doesn't Do Anything!?!?!?!?!?!?
  • Strawberry: Yep...
  • Buccaneer Lunt: You gotta be...
  • Theodore: ...at least excited.
  • Strawberry: No one told me that!
  • Captain Pa: You always did have a mind of your own.
  • Simon: We always liked that about you.
  • Chog: Aye. Alvin, what did you learn there?
  • Alvin: You need to be trustworthy and be loyal to others.
  • Simon: Ya. You need to follow the directions and be kind.
  • Theodore: Even though they don't deserve it.
  • Strawberry: Chog, you're going overboard.
  • Chog: Well, what do you want? A big musical number?
  • Buccaneer Larry: Awesome!
  • ("The Big Musical Number!" plays. As the song picks up, many people and Strawberry fall asleep.)
  • Chog: Hey! I know. (to Simon) You know.
  • Alvin: Thank you, for letting those people go free. Because of that, can you please fish out those office supplies they've flushed down their toilets, throw away those oversized hats, the bright lights, those blues CDs, put back up pictures of their friends, their family, all their sheep, all their flowers, all their cattle and all ther chickens and even your real, rubber, mechanical and plush versions of them, and take out those baseball outfits?
  • Strawberry: I believe so.
  • Sarah: What are you looking at?
  • Alvin: I believe they're blowing tissues.
  • (Fade to black)
  • Person 1: Well, if it isn't that Rhubarbarian!
  • Person 2: Go fall off a cliffside and into the ocean!
  • (Alvin pops up, playing his accordion)
  • Alvin: I am a pirate who doesn't do anything, I just stay home and lie around. So, if you ask me to do anything, I'll just tell you - I don't do anything. Oh, I've never saved people, and I've never got an award, and I've never colored in some paintings at all, and I've never ate some squash, and I clearly threw up on trash, and I've never been to Boston in the fall.

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