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It's a Not-So Meaningful Light Part One

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Here we go with Part One of this amazing fish tale. "Let the silliness begin!"


  • (Opening credits a la The Land Before Time)
  • (Words scroll up "in the not too distant future, three billion kilowatts and lightyears from Strawberryland")
  • (Masterpiece Theatre set - Simon and Theodore sit in a chair by a fire)
  • Simon: Good evening, there.
  • Theodore: Welcome to this historic tale ever. Buckle up, you young pumpkins.
  • Simon: Grab some popcorn, turn down the lights and get ready for...
  • (Pan down to the Light Factory palace)
  • Simon Narrating: It all started when Nineveh stopped becoming the biggest, meanest city around. What a glorious feeling at the Light Factory palace. The people there are particularly nice to us.
  • Cockney Guard 1: It's those popstar blokes!
  • (Alvin, Simon and Theodore approach into the palace)
  • Simon: Wow!
  • Alvin: Believe it or not, in this palace; we're famous!
  • Theodore: Here comes the city officials to greet us!
  • Simon: Hello there.
  • City Official: We got some suckers. Send them to the astonishing contraption of burning!
  • (Bags are pulled off their faces. Alvin is flipped upside down, Simon and Theodore are both tied)
  • City Official: Their punishment - the astonishing contraption of burning!
  • (People laugh)
  • (Alvin, Simon and Theodore break the ropes and they meet Buccaneers Lunt and Larry)
  • Alvin: Hey, Buccaneers Lunt and Larry.
  • Buccaneer Larry: How's it going?
  • Buccaneer Lunt: Hey, what's up?
  • Simon: What are you doing here?
  • Theodore: Remember that time when you were cheese curl celebrities of all Nineveh?
  • Alvin: Umm.... no.
  • Buccaneer Larry: Well, we've got the perfect manual for a machine.
  • (A few people, including Kyle, hop in)
  • Kyle: What's all the commotion?
  • Buccaneer Lunt: We've rented the DVD instruction manual from the library before.
  • Person 1: I have plenty of lumber on my boat. I should at least pinch in.
  • Person 2: I got some tools on my boat.
  • Kyle: I based this off of a poster for Dagget and Ramsdell toiletries.
  • Person 3: I have an extra blueprint of the poster!
  • Person 4: Me too!
  • Sheep: (baas)
  • Buccaneer Larry: (Whispering to Alvin) He said "Me three".
  • Person 5: I saved up some allowance.
  • Person 6: Me too!
  • (The people build the machine. Buccaneer Lunt holds blueprints of the machine)
  • Buccaneer Larry: Looks cool.
  • Kyle: The walls are up,
  • Person 1: The contraption is almost finished.
  • Person 2: And someone showed up with a lever to place onto.
  • Buccaneer Larry: Aww, thanks.
  • TV Reporter: How many lives have you lived?
  • Buccaneer Larry: Billions and billions!
  • TV Reporter: What does this machine do?
  • Buccaneer Larry: Simple. When there are prettier girls or fancier boys around, Lunt and I will make them!
  • (Strawberry watches from a safe distance. She shines her glasses, and texts a person)
  • Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings!
  • Buccaneer Larry: What do you know, the terrors of the sea.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings!
  • Jonah: (Grumpy) Wherever we go, pillaging happily.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings!
  • Kyle: Let there be no animosity 'cuz...
  • Buccaneer Lunt: Who wouldn't like a pile of cake rouge?
  • Person 1: Some shiny jewels and a finishing lotion!
  • Person 2: And a giant eyebrow pencil to boot!
  • Buccaneer Lunt: A Viking's life for me. Yo-ho!
  • Buccaneer Larry: That's the life for me.
  • ("I Won't Go to Beans!" plays)
  • (They take the machine out of the palace.)
  • (Meanwhile...)
  • Simon N.: The next day, we arrived at Ninaborough.
  • Construction Worker: Looks like someone showed up with a couch.
  • Alvin: Really? (Lies down)
  • (Buccaneer Larry carries in Strawberry)
  • (A baseball flies past Alvin and out of the stadium.)
  • Simon: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your timeless angerness.
  • Police Chief: Who is that guy?
  • Sheriff: She was handing out berries yesterday.
  • Police Chief: That sounds fishy. Think ya took 'em.
  • Sheriff: I'm gonna throw up on some Skittles.
  • Police Chief: We gotta keep our eyes on her.
  • (A few people stay behind after some leave)
  • (Strawberry puts up some boards)
  • Strawberry: I never said that someone blew up and the city official was mad.
  • Police Chief: All cruise guests don't like to think of their friends are mad.
  • (Sheriff throws up on some Skittles)
  • (Strawberry shows a board showing Buccaneer Lunt's ageline)
  • Molly: "How old is Buccaneer Lunt?"
  • Strawberry: Why don't we come back to that?
  • Milli: Sounds pretty good.
  • Gil: "How smart does Captain Pa think he is?"
  • Police Chief: That's smart of him to think about how smart he is.
  • Geo: Who's Captain Pa?
  • Molly: Move along.
  • Gil: Nothing to see here.
  • Geo: "How much does Buccaneer Larry look?"
  • Gil: He looks so charming.
  • (Strawberry texts Buccaneer Larry)
  • Sheriff: I used to have a cellphone like that. It's the same one Strawberry used. My brother downloaded too many apps and sent too many mean text messages so I killed him and took that cellphone to the dump.
  • Milli: Really?
  • Molly: I'm gonna go kiss him someday! That will be efficient.
  • Hipster Carrot: I dig efficiency. Watchin' my carbon hoofprint. (Drinks coffee)
  • (Hipster Carrot's body parts fall off and he dies)
  • (People lay on top of him)
  • Police Chief: If that is settled, (cut to him on an iceberg) I'd rather sit on an iceberg.
  • Milli: Aww... Buccaneer Lunt looks cute as a baby.
  • ("You Girls are all brave thieves and bandits and naives and destroyers and robbers!" plays)

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