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It's a Not-So Meaningful Light Part Three

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Hey-oh, everyone! Welcome to Part Three!

TranscriptEdit

  • Painter Carrot: What?
  • Woman on Voice: The police man is behind the billboard.
  • Painter Carrot: Oh, that loser again?
  • (Policeman holds a box. He opens it and three pirates stand in.)
  • Pirate Impostor 1: This doesn't look good.
  • Pirate Impostor 2: I think I'm gonna be sick!
  • Pirate Impostor 3: My heart will explode!
  • Police Chief: Come on, you guys. (Sings first lines of Pirates who don't do anything song)
  • Painter Carrot: It's kinda weird though that a man would say he wants to stay home and lie around. I have dinner to go to.
  • Simon Narrating: It was too late. Buccaneer Larry caught the painter carrot and the impostors.
  • Buccaneer Larry: You're coming with me.
  • Police Chief: (spits out coffee) What'cha doing!?! You're ruining the billboard, Miss Shortcake!!!! No!!!!! Oh, Lord; why did you let this happen!?! Get your filthy hands off of that carrot, that tomato, that gourd and that asparagus, Miss Shortcake!!!!
  • Simon Narrating: Buccaneer Larry threw them into the slammer. I wonder what (Cut to ship hold) Strawberry is up to...
  • (Strawberry throws down a bag and sits down on a bench)
  • Simon Narrating: That was a very silly surprise. The bag just talked. She threw the bag onto a barrel, and out came... peas!?!
  • Guy with Black Hat: Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Jude, the smartest one.
  • Karen: I am Karen, the awesomst one.
  • Reuben: And I am Reuben, the chubbiest.
  • Strawberry: Nice to meet ya. Now, where is this ship going?
  • Jude: Tarship.
  • Karen: One time, our uncles were tortured by the city official.
  • Reuben: That's surprising.
  • Karen: i know that.
  • (Strawberry groans)
  • Karen: What's wrong there?
  • Jude: There is a man in that palace. A beautiful young leek? He is waiting there for you.
  • Karen: Would that be either Alvin, Simon or Theodore?
  • Reuben: No, it had something to do with his body shaped like a dog.
  • Jude: You were promised to be married, but your life is now in the way.
  • Karen: The man's mother is the head of an international league of bandits.
  • Jude: So, this day, you sail there and break the back of them which will break the heart of that guy.
  • Simon Narrating: Suddenly Strawberry had a flashback.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Khalil: Jonah, there is a woman in Nineveh, is there not? A beautiful young asparagus? She is waiting there for you.
  • Jonah: Um... no.
  • Khalil: You were promised to be married. But you're job is now in the way. The woman's father is the head of an international ring of camel thieves. This very day, you set sail for Tarshish to deliver the message that will break the back of the camel thieves. But, in the process; will break the heart of the woman you love. Yes, yes, insight runs very deep in my family. Do not worry, the first one's free.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Simon Narrating: That flashback disappeared. Another one came up.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Mordecai: You saw your friend steal an apple.
  • Esther: Yeah, that's right.
  • Mordecai: It wasn't hers, but she took it.
  • Esther: Yup.
  • Mordecai: And now, you don't know what to do.
  • Esther: Yeah, what should I do?
  • Mordecai: What do you think you should do?
  • Esther: Well, I suppose I should tell her it was wrong and that she should pay for it.
  • Mordecai: Sounds like a good answer.
  • Esther: I wasn't even brave enough to go to my friend about the apple and now you want me to go to the King? Even if he doesn't banish me for showing up, why would he listen to me? I mean, Haman is his right-hand-man.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Simon Narrating: Again, that flashback disappeared. Another one came up.
  • (Flashback opens)
  • Charlie: Must be nice growing up pampered in the mayor's house, instead of being out here breaking your back along the rest of your kin!
  • Moe: How did you know...?
  • Charlie: Your sister told a few friends, and they told a few friends, and I reckon everyone knows by now.
  • Moe: They do?
  • Charlie: Besides, you're the spitting image of Little Joe himself. Of course, he'd be spitting if he saw you wearing that badge.
  • (Flashback ends)
  • Jude: Focus on those messages.
  • Karen: Sweet dreams. We can make our plans to do it tomorrow.
  • Reuben: Let's go help the League find someplace on this boat to sleep for the night.
  • Strawberry: And can you get me a glass of strawberry juice while you're at it?
  • (White limbo. Strawberry walks across. Everything is mysterious.)
  • Strawberry: Yes. Which way is Tarship.
  • Ticket Man: (Croaking) Right this way. You can't miss it.
  • Strawberry: Thanks.
  • (Dream ends)
  • Ginger Snap: C'mon wake up! We're in a storm like I've never seen before. If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
  • Mr. Malab: (scoffs) Didn't I at least tell you to get off my ship, you lousy leaf-eaters!
  • Karen: Yes, but you see; we're gonna break the back of those bandits. I love crimefighting.
  • Mr. Malab: If it ain't for this, I'll make you walk the plank! We're gonna be fish food if I don't get help.
  • Jude: How do you feel about an indoor pool?
  • Ginger Snap: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here.
  • (The crew showed Mr. Marigold on a TV on the boat)
  • Martin: Excuse me, I have an announcement. People of Ninaborough, become very afraid. Unless you be my slaves, I will terrorize Ninaborough. As my slaves, do certain things for me.
  • Rainbow Sherbert: Like what?
  • Martin: Get rid of all real, rubber, mechanical, and/or plush flowers, sheep, cattle and chickens. Any pictures of them, too. Throw away all your baseball outfits and play baseball in your regular clothes. Stack pyramids of sheep all day. Every morning, sing the "I Want to Die Becoming a Slave" blues. Flush your office supplies down the toilet. Throw your shoes out the window. Put your homework on fire. Give your food to the cats. Tell the dogs that they're bad. Throw eggs at an old man's house. Tear down all the monuments of Strawberry and build statues of me. Work on cliffs. Cut the tops of flowers and throw them in the garbage. Pick up all the cheese on the pizza and burgers and throw it away. Put lemons on an old person's eyeballs. Sweep the dirt off all the stairs. Skateboard down the aisles of a supermarket. Write a book about racoons. Make a boat out of a race car and it will sink and everyone on board will die. Every night, stand by the cruise ticket booth wearing oversized ten-gallon hats over your eyes while holding bright lights. Anyone who disobeys these rules will receive a visit from Mayor Jimmy and me and then be cast into the belly of a whale! Now, be scared! Hahahahahahahaha!
  • Angel Cake: Oh, dear.
  • Orange Blossom: This doesn't look good.
  • Blueberry Muffin: I'm gonna throw up!
  • Alvin: I don't like the sound of that. I wouldn't do this to my cap.
  • Simon: What? Throwing shoes out the window? We don't have feet!
  • Theodore: How are you supposed to eat cheese-less pizza?
  • Mr. Malab: Someone up there is real upset with someone down here. It ain't gonna let up 'till we know who that someone is. It could be any one of us. Cast lots! If it falls on you, you take a swim!
  • (We montage through the intense element of casting lots as the storm continues to rage. We dissolve between different lots depicting to fall on someone. We see character's faces as the casting progresses - if they're holding some lots, they're nervous, if not, they're relaxed. The casting shifts and Judah is on the loosing end. We cut to a wide shot of the pirate ship and see it being tossed around by the waves. We hear reverby "cast lots" and various "aarghs" and "oh boys" throughout.)
  • Simon Narrating: So we casted lots and it fell on the captain.
  • Mr. Malab: So she got on here. I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea.
  • Strawberry: Goodnight, sir. Nice knowing ya.
  • Alvin: You've been mostly titled for a refund.
  • Karen: Underneath the circumstances, you know, with you dying and all.
  • Ginger Snap: Not so fast. I suggest we use a Jupiter 1600 horsepower, high octave, dual-propeller pull-ignition boat motor with the optional chrome trim package. It can get you back to where you were.
  • Karen: I'll explain how this works. It appears that one just pushes the black bubbly thing and pulls the cord.
  • Alvin: That would be dangerous. (Everyone turns toward him angrily) Simon, Theodore and I will be watching from a safe distance.
  • (Just then, the propellers catch the surface of the deck of the ship. Wood chips fly as the spinning blades propel the engine all the way across the decks - ripping a trail in the planks. Cut to shots of the propeller chasing characters through screen. They gulp as the motor follows. It then crashes through the ground rail on the bow of the ship and drops in the sea.)
  • Simon: That's the final time we're ever gonna get a boat motor.
  • Simon Narrating: The storm grew higher. We cried out to God as Mr. Malab was pushed into the ocean and the seas were calm again. (A group faint) We tried to pull him back on board. A shark then swallowed him whole. (The group cry) Meanwhile, on the other hand; in Ninaborough, without Strawberry, everything went out of hand and out of control, and this was falling apart. Even the jailbirds broke out of jail! (Three girls give the mayor and the Marigolds bills in the mayor's office) And Ninaborough looked completely like the Vikings' villages by the sea.
  • Mayor Jimmy: You licked a plug in someone's butt?! You kicked a chipmunk!? You became Vikings by killing dragons?! Those are not good. (Turns his back on them) No thanks, fellas.
  • Jeanette: Well, y-you see, sir... 
  • Brittney: I licked a plug that was in a cat's butt and it got electrocuted.
  • Jeanette: I kicked a chipmunk yesterday.
  • Eleanor: Today my boy becomes a Viking by killing a dragon.
  • Brittney: Wait. We don't hafta kill it.
  • Martin: Why not?
  • Jeanette: I trained one.
  • Brittney: On that pirate ship, there were secret passages, and tracks, and evil people who turn out to be cowboy brothers. And sharks.
  • Martin, Hamlin and Men: Security!
  • Brittney: You can't do this to me!
  • Jeanette: I will kill you guards.
  • Eleanor: Please be gentle!
  • (They throw the Chipettes in the belly of a whale)
  • Chog: Ready, fellas?
  • Pirates: OK, sir.
  • Chog: One, two, three, one, two, three...
  • Pirates: We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay home...
  • Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry. You're a little flat. Let's try again.
  • Pirates: ...And lie around. And if you ask us to do anything...
  • Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry.
  • Buccaneer Larry: (sadly) We'll just tell you... (Smiles a bit unconsciously)
  • ("What's Up with Strawberry?" plays)
  • Simon Narrating: Yes, no one could figure out what they were up to. Along with a few people, Mr. Lunt and Larry followed Strawberry all the way to the light factory palace.
  • Gil: (Squints at scroll) I'm confused with the list. What is a Back-Babylonian Pickle?
  • Kid 1: Bad-Balonga pencil.
  • Mayor Jimmy: We need to keep an eye on them.
  • Buccaneer Larry: He's right.
  • Captain Pa: Sail to the Light Factory palace and call the calvary.
  • Buccaneer Lunt: Aye, aye... Captain Crunch!
  • (Captain Pa growls)
  • (Buccaneer Larry snickers as he and Lunt head to the cruise ticket booth)
  • Captain Pa: Call me that one more time, and I will make you work for your great uncle Ian!!!!!
  • Kid 2: What? They're the Pirates Who Don't Anything!
  • Buccaneer Larry: 'Cuz since we've done all the things the Marigolds suggested, I think now would at least be a good time to get the money for those operations.
  • Kid 3: Why should we help three pirates get operations? We've got better work to do around here!
  • Molly: I know what you mean.
  • (Cut to belly of shark)
  • Simon Narrating: The captain pouted. Then angels came and comforted him.
  • (Cut back to boat. Karen, Reuben and Jude were complaining around a fire.)
  • Karen: I can't believe why Hamlin's car-wagon thing was installed to a spark plug yesterday.
  • Jude: Mais oui!
  • Reuben: That was humiliating!
  • Karen: What are you talking about?!
  • Jude: What do spark plugs and gangsters gotta do with...hey, you don't mess with another man's spark plug!
  • Reuben: Then go lick one, then!
  • Karen: GO BACK TO YOU OWN KINGDOM, RHUBARBARIANS!!!!!!
  • (A montage of silly attempts of going to the light factory palace shows up)
  • Simon Narrating: Then we all knew something strange happening. The shark spit out the captain.
  • Strawberry: (Pulls out book "The Trueness of a Good Leader") "Now, captain, it's perfectly normal that you might stand in breezing occurence. I'm tryna make ya comfortable. I will allow you in the signs of my splendor - such as, answers to unusual questions, major miracles appearing or disappering against your will."
  • Blueberry Muffin: You were, you were...
  • Rainbow Sherbert: Fish food.
  • Simon Narrating: Strawberry dramatically tells everyone about the truth of the Marigolds. We arrived at the palace.
  • Cockney Guard: Who goes there?
  • Simon: I am Simon.
  • Cockney Guard: You're not from here!
  • Alvin: We're from...
  • Cockney Guards: You're strangers!
  • (They arrive in the palace)
  • Alvin: Welcome back.
  • City Official: Arrest them...again!
  • Alvin: Oh no. Not again.
  • City Official: Oh... is it?
  • (City Official pulls out knife and slits the bottom of Alvin's pack)
  • Alvin: I thought they were free samples!
  • Simon Narrating: So Theodore, Alvin, Jude, Reuben, Karen and I all tried to distract the city offical.
  • ("It's a Not-So Meaningful Light - Look, City Official! " plays)
  • City Official: I DON'T SEE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!
  • (WHACK!)

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