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Turn off all your cellphones, the use of any recording device is forbidden, do not scream or cry, and if you refuse - a terrifying Viking will leap out of the stage, lift you from your seat, and drag you home, and if one dare listens, then one dare hears, a tale to rouse your secret fears; tarry not for the end draws nigh, on Strawberry Shortcake, the Kindly Viking.

TranscriptEdit

  • (Book opens up)
  • Captain Steve Narrating: Once there were two bands of friends out on the sea. (Page flips) As friends did, they had fun. But it turned to robbing along the line. (Page flips to them in bed) So that escalated and they were enemies.
  • Bruce and John: (screams) GINGER SNAP! YOU WICKED FATE! WE'LL GET YOU!!!!!
  • Ginger Snap: (screams) BRUCE AND JOHN! YOU PESKY LITTLE BOYS! I'LL GET YOU!!!!!
  • Capain N.: And so it was that they never spoke again. (Cut to him riding on an eagle)
  • Captain Steve: So to tell this story of a kind princess, you gotta start off with the first Viking who is nice to people. His name was Lyle. (Flashback of "Lyle the Kindly Viking" footage) Lyle is nice to others. Why, after a raid, he gives back to the monks. When a storm comes, the monks save Lyle and his friends. Lyle explains to them sharing is more fun than stealing. Time has passed after Lyle's life. When he died, a princess Viking was born. She was also kind to people. But as her friends... (The girl Vikings appear - in their boat - an elegant pirate ship with lots of sports equipment)
  • Girl Vikings: (Singing the Captain Steve theme as they get off the boat)
  • Captain N.: Just like other Vikings, these girl Vikings spend their days attacking.
  • Captain Steve: To the village hill, girl Vikings! We shall plot the evil Vikings' revenge over cookies, cakes, fruits, cheesecurls, pizza and rootbeer!
  • Captain N.: The princess Viking was eager to join but I stopped her from plotting the revenge.
  • Captain Steve: Not you. You got homework to do. You need practice. Good lass.
  • Girl Vikings: (Singing the Captain Steve theme)
  • Captain Steve: Aww, come on! You don't hafta sing my theme song everytime!
  • Princess: (Hops over to her boat)
  • Captain N.: After they returned from the raids, she'd take her strawberries and her money and head out across the sea in her boat. I haven't worked her until she was too tired to form new thoughts or swallow her food. (Tango music plays)
  • Princess: Alone in a village of many, did my best to fit in; Viking skills; Well, I do have 'em. The best Kindly Viking. I try to best, but I don't choke. Practically awesome, I give it my all plus 100%, but anyone cares 'bout a girl who is anything, alone in a village of many, did my best to fit in; the best kindly Viking.
  • Captain N.: Nobody could figure out what she was up to. Very stealthily, several peasants followed the princess right to the monastery. What they saw was unexpecting. But instead of taking more of the monks' things, the princess Viking returned the money to the monks.
  • Princess: So this is my homework? You gotta be kidding!
  • Lead Monk: It's the thought that counts.
  • Monks: Do you want to hang out with us?
  • Princess: Right-o. (Pulls out a book of practical jokes of the world) Here. Look at this. (Pulls a bridge with dodgers)
  • Monk 1: What good is that?
  • Monk 2: How do you prank the Vikings with it?
  • Princess: It is for pranking and it's interesting. I'm thinking of calling it a flying bridge or a kindly Viking cradle.
  • Monk 3: Maybe you can attach anything to it and watch it swing and hit them in the face.
  • Princess: Right. It is for that.
  • Monk 4: They could hit and explode and it will go everywhere.
  • Princess: Yes, yes, yes. That is what it's for alright.
  • Captain Steve: Your homework was done and we have a heritage to uphold. Why do things any differently? (Flips to a parabolic reflector) What good is this? Could shiny metal best your foe? (Princess pulls out a parabolic mirror and shines it into a monk causing him to faint, the Captain flips to a tube with a handle) Can this give a good or bad haircut? (Princess gives a monk a good haircut and another a bad, the Captain flips to a game remote thingy) Can this win the feud with the Vikings? (Princess tests the game remote) Yes!
  • Captain N.: So the princess explained to the monks that helping them is more fun than stealing from them. So they liked the sound of that. So I decided not to tell on him. (Bruce and John peek out from behind the Captain.) The next morning, while the princess Viking's friends are out on another raid, I went below deck to rest a bit. (The Captain hops down the ship hold.) This puzzled some of the Vikings quite a bit.
  • Ginger Snap: What are we gonna do about this? (The evil Vikings' boat appears.)
  • Orange Blossom: I never knew.
  • Angel Cake: This was all the captain's fault.
  • Blueberry Muffin: (They sit around a table on the boat) Here's what we should do. We sail up to the princess and we pull her into our boat and get those evil Vikings outta here. (Rock music begins)
  • Captain Steve: (cries, in the ship hold) I had to throw things and break 'em in half. I'll shave off their chest hair if it's great for a laugh. (Ginger Snap rips her shirt off and shaves her chest hair.) Oy. But she is anything, to do it all day. She does it so well and it makes her feel good. (Pulls out his photo wallet) What I knew was important (Picture of the princess Viking as a young girl) and truthful of praise (Picture of the Captain with an award at a ceremony) are qualities gone (Pictures of the Captain throwing a pie into a peasant) in the girl (Picture of the Captain burning mad with pie on his face) who they raised.
  • (The princess Viking sails across white limbo background. Everything is mysterious. The two evil Vikings leap onto her boat.)
  • Princess: What are you gonna do to me?
  • Bruce: We're gonna hunt you down tomorrow.
  • John: Go back to your own land.
  • Princess: What? No, please! 
  • (The Captain wakes up screaming like a girl. The ship is rocked by an intense storm. The hold is flooding. Rock music continues)
  • Ginger Snap: (Caught the Captain's photo wallet) Maybe he pushed her a little too hard...
  • Orange Blossom: ...he forced her to earn her kindly Viking card...
  • Angel Cake: ...maybe he hasn't loved her the way that he should...
  • Blueberry Muffin: ...and missed seeing all in her that is great...
  • Rainbow Sherbert: ...what he knew was important, and truthful of praise...
  • Raspberry Torte: ...were qualities gone in that girl who they raised...
  • Lemon Meringue: ...she's different from him. (Picture of the Princess in her teenage years)
  • Ginger Snap: He breaks, (Picture of the Princess in her college years) she is anything. (Closes photo wallet)
  • Captain Steve: (Still crying) That girl's different from me. Oh little Viking girl!
  • Ginger Snap: (whispers) ...and that's great.
  • Blueberry Muffin: Do you think the Captain knows the Muffin Man song?
  • Ginger Snap: The Captain sang that song from his heart. (The Captain climbs out of the ship hold)
  • Rainbow Sherbert: What do you mean?
  • Captain Steve: That's the way God made her and I love her! So does he!
  • Captain N.: I was very sad. So we rowed as fast as we could toward the princess's boat. But it didn't take long for us to catch up to her. The waves were big we were thrown into the ocean.
  • Monks: Hang in there! (They threw life persevers into her and she reaches dry land)
  • Princess: If you see someone who can help, that's what God wants you to do.
  • Captain N.: So the monks had a change of heart. After the village dried up, she was awarded an official Viking. One week later, Bruce and John telephoned the princess.
  • Bruce: Hello?
  • Princess: How may I help you.
  • John: We need your help! We're stealing all the berries from the peasants!
  • Princess: I'm on my way!
  • Bruce: We're counting on ya!
  • John: Go spread the word.
  • (The people are in danger)
  • Bill, Tim, Alex, Ellie, Harold and Erik: Who's gonna stop us?
  • Princess and the girl Vikings: We can give it a shot!
  • John: What? No way!
  • Bruce: You can't trust them!
  • Ginger Snap: (Pulls out parabolic mirror) Forget about that feud. (Shines into Tim's face causing him to faint.)
  • Orange Blossom: (Pulls out tube w/ handle) That's right. If we don't get them outta here, we'd be in trouble. (Gives John a terrible haircut)
  • John: (screams)
  • Angel Cake: (Pulls out game remote) Little Viking Girl, we can't take much of this longer. (The princess Viking gives money back to Bruce and John)
  • Princess: I know just the thing! (Dumps rainbow paint onto Bill)
  • Bill: HEY!
  • Captain Steve: Prepare to be boarded!
  • Peasants: What do we do with them?
  • (A robotic Blueberry Muffin shoots a laser at Harold's hair, making him bald)
  • Harold: (Screams)
  • Princess: Whew.
  • Bruce: I'm sure that took care of it.
  • Peasants: (angry murmurs)
  • Bruce: Uh... oh...
  • John: RUN FOR IT!!!
  • (Princess and the Vikings back up and get back in their boats as Tim wakes up and the peasants chase him and the Vikings out.)
  • Captain N.: And so they were chased out. They should pay for that indignity! But as for the girls...
  • Princess: Thanks to those pranks by my friends, we got 'em outta here.
  • Captain N.: And she lived happily ever after.

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